Christ beside me (as I blog)

I recently was dragging around the house, trying to complete what seemed like an impossible "to do" list and strewing sighs at my poor family when the phone rang. I picked it up and said "Hello!" in a bright and cheery voice. I think I am not alone in this. I think many, if not all, of us have stopped mid-fight, mid-scold, or in a bad funk and put on a "nice" voice and had a pleasant conversation with someone. There are many reasons why we do this, and partly it is image management. But there is also a good side to this, a hospitable view that people who are calling deserve to be treated pleasantly despite the circumstances of our day and are worth putting a little extra effort out for. I startled myself, though, by the energy I was able to drag up for an unknown caller that I hadn't bothered to tap into for my own family.

I happened to be especially aware of it because of a formation exercise that was an assignment a week or two before. The assignment was to try to imagine Christ present with us in each conversation we had, standing next to us. After several days, the exercise changed to challenge us to image the person we were talking to was Christ. That is really difficult! There are certainly ways of speaking to my children, my husband, that I would not dream of using if Christ was physically standing next to me and would never even occur to me if I was speaking directly to Him. That has really caused me to pause over the last few weeks and I have stopped myself from saying some things, or changed the tone of what I was about to say because of this exercise.

Which leads me to the etiquette of a church blog. I think that there are times when we can have more freedom to say what we really think when we are anonymous. People's perceptions and filters about us are turned off when we stand behind that cloak of invisibility. We can be vulnerable, letting the pain and frustration we feel be known, without any risk of personal rejection. However, when we let the anonymity go too far we can forget that at the end of our pointed remarks are real people, with real feelings. As Erik pointed out so eloquently in a comment he left, elders and elders' spouses are also Mom and Dad to him. I love the dialogue, and the possibilities that are open to us through the use of the Internet, but we need to have a modicum of common courtesy toward each other, and hopefully, since this is a church blog, we can go beyond that with each other. Let's just imagine that Christ is present with us as we type our comments and he is present with each person who is reading our words - since that is what we believe. As Saint Patrick so beautifully put it in his prayer, "[Christ]Be in the heart of each to whom I speak; in the mouth of each who speaks unto me".

Wearing the World

I am in the midst of life's whirlwind at the moment. June is always a busy month for us with birthdays and Father's Day and the end of school, but this year is especially hectic. In two days relatives will begin arriving for the graduation of my youngest son, Andrew, from High School. This will be followed the next week by the wedding of my oldest son, Timothy, to his wonderful sweetheart Anastasia. Her parents are coming all the way from Kazakhstan to be a part of it all, and we hope that we will be able to show them a little bit of Northern California while they are here. It is also Ben and my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Oh, yes, and our daughter in Irvine needs to be moved out of her apartment during some free moment. She is heading to England to study next year and has a load of furniture that needs to get home and stashed somewhere.

With all this activity, the challenge before me is how to live in the kingdom of God: fully present to each precious moment, thankful for each person I have a conversation with, relying on God's grace to carry me through. I am afraid I will be distracted and taken off course by the sheer logistics of multiple trips to the airport, finding a place for people to sleep, preparing meals, organizing parties, and the thousand and one details that are part of planning a wedding.

I recently ran across this quote from St. Francis of Assisi in Dallas Willard's book Renovation of the Heart:

"wear the world like a loose garment, which touches us in a few places and there lightly."

I find this very encouraging, because Francis doesn't tell us to take off the world and become detached from the lives we lead, but to wear it loosely. There is no way for me to be detached from the momentous life events that are converging on me. There will be joy and loss and emotions I can't even predict right now. And I want to engage in them. There are also a zillion mundane moments that will happen between now and then. The key for me is to not let the world weigh heavily on my shoulders, rubbing me raw. I feel like the month of June is a lab of whether it's really possible to rely on grace and the presence of God to not just help me survive the craziness, but enjoy each moment. I'm sure I'll fail many times during the month, but I also hope I have a few shining moments in every day where grace was sufficient and I held on to my own agenda and plans loosely. As Dallas Willard says about those who are apprentices of Jesus,

"They are free to focus their efforts on the service of God and others and the furthering of good generally, and to be as passionate about such things as may be appropriate to such efforts."

I'll let you know how it goes! In the meanwhile, check back here for a special guest blogger during the month of June.

Healing Service

I wanted to make a brief comment about the awesome healing service that we had earlier this month. The elder board is so amazed and delighted and humbled by the people of Oak Hills whenever we get the opportunity to pray with and for you. We spent much of our last Elder Board meeting just talking about what courage and honesty and faith so many of you showed to come to the front of the church and ask for prayers of healing. We prayed for physical, emotional, relational, and financial healing, heard confessions and pleas for wisdom and direction and were so touched that we were able to be a part of it all. It was a great privilege to ask God to take action in each situation and know that he is able and willing to do it. In fact, I reflected at one point during the service that God had already taken action in those people's lives who got up out of their seats and came forward to share their burdens and be anointed. If you are one of those people, I hope you take comfort from the knowledge that the Spirit was stirring in you even then. However, we realize it can be an awkward experience to go forward and stand waiting for someone to be available, and most likely many people who felt the desire to be prayed for just couldn't do it. I'd like to remind you that the Elder Board prays for healing up in the prayer room before our first meeting of the month (Second Wednesday from 6-7 pm). Just contact Sharon to get on the schedule or show up at 6 outside the prayer room on the second floor. We'd love to hear your story and pray for God to do his work in your life!

The "S" Word

The subject of submission came up recently in one of our Elder Board meetings and we talked briefly about the culture we find ourselves living in today. No one submits anymore. We live independent lives, relying on ourselves and our own intuition to get us through the highs and lows of life. This is not just a phenomena of the younger generation, but applies across all segments of our society. Old or young or in between, we don't put ourselves very often in situations where submission seems desirable or profitable. And yet, shouldn't that be something we cultivate in ourselves out of humility and respect for the wisdom God grants to others?

I include myself in this lack. The very word makes my palms sweaty. Images of being controlled, taken advantage of, misunderstood, rise up in my mind. It's one thing for Mike to submit to a golf pro he's paying, but another thing for me to act on the advice of my friends, family or spouse when it seems counter-intuitive to the usual way I approach my life. Still, there's something freeing in voluntarily giving up my own way of doing something, to be humble and accept the advice when I know the giver is thinking of my best interests. Whether it's in the revising of a poem or in the way I pray about a situation, I am trying to cultivate "experts" to help me grow. It has been an interesting journey for me over the last year to give up some of my freedom and listen to wise counsel and then act on it and see where it takes me.

What reminded me of this today was the thought of the Virginia Tech student who so resoundingly did not submit to authority and well-intentioned advice in his life. When we think we are above the wisdom of others, we leave ourselves terribly open to pain and confusion that might have been avoided. If you look at your life and notice only one voice giving direction to it, I would encourage you to experiment a little. Find an area where you are "stuck" and seek out an expert, and then submit to doing what they suggest. Maybe (like Mike) it's your golf swing, your relationship with a family member, your stale approach to God, but there are surely people you can find who will look at it from a different perspective and give you real help. Ultimately, our expert is Jesus and the wisdom he has for us. If God is the most brilliant being in existence, maybe we should pay a bit more attention to what he is saying to us, both through his word and through the considered opinions of the people he has put in our lives to guide us to him.

Do you submit to the authorities in your life (pastors, counsellors, teachers, parents, friends, small group)? If so, I would love to know if the discipline of submission has taught you new things about yourself and opened up new vistas in those "stuck" places.

Do They Know Us?

When I was a girl, we used to sing a song with the refrain, "And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes they'll know we are Christians by our love." I feel so drawn to that hopeful sentiment. I want people to see Christ in me and in each of my brothers and sisters in the faith. I think that Christians should be in the forefront wherever the need for the compassion of Christ exists: homeless shelters, AIDS ministries, Katrina cleanup, refugee camps. The list of places and people who need the love of Christ is without end. But is this really what the world thinks of first when they hear the word "Christian"? Are we truly known for our kindness, compassion, love and humility?

I read a lot of book reviews, both for business reasons and because I love to read, and there has been a disturbing trend lately in anti-religious book publishing. These books draw distressing conclusions about us as a people of faith, calling us "poison" and worse, "fascists". The case seems to be that many in our nation believe us to be people who are "known" by our intolerance, our active discouragement of dissent, our fomenting of fear, our aggressive politics, and even violence against our perceived enemies. I'll admit I was really shaken by this level of vitriol. I don't mind if people disagree with my beliefs, but these accusations are the opposite of what I consider to be the Way of Christ.

Now let me say I don't see this as being the true state of us as Christians. I know far too many wonderful believers who are serious about being transformed into the likeness of Christ and they will never give up in their pursuit of having Christ formed in them. The elder board hears marvellous stories of people who sacrifice their time, money, and vacations to make a positive difference in the world. Yet, there is enough negative press out there to make me pause and reflect that the ideals of Christ have gotten skewed in the hearts and lives of many.

If someone wants to dismiss us as Christians, let it be for our honesty, humility, charity and goodness. Let it be for our faith beyond reason, for our passion and compassion for justice and the poor. Let it be for the right reasons.

Who speaks for us?

For the record, there is no way for this blog to be anything other than my own opinions and musings. So while I will try to pick a real topic from Elder Board emails, agendas or conversations, the "take" is entirely my own. I hope in the coming months to get some guest bloggers from among the other elders so readers will get a wider range of thinking. I look forward to your questions and comments. Kent encouraged me to be controversial, so here we go: religion and politics. What could be more fun than that?

One of the articles that made the rounds of elder board email recently was one written by Gordon MacDonald of Leadership magazine. He wrote in response to a gathering of influential evangelical christian men who were trying to decide which candidate they would endorse for the 2008 Presidential election. MacDonald was disturbed, as I am, that any group would assume to speak for "us" as Christians, and himself in particular. He came up with his own list of questions which I will link at the bottom of this posting. I don't necessarily think he has asked the same questions that are on my mind, but his point is valid. Who speaks for us? Are Christians in this country a voting bloc? Have we been co opted by one party or the other as a tool for electing their candidate? I shudder at the thought. It may be easier to cast a vote that way, but aren't the issues more complicated than that? Doesn't God expect us to use our great privilege to vote in a way that takes all the things He cares about into account? Is God a one-issue thinker? I don't think so. I think he is a God of the marginalized and forgotten as well as a God who affirms the sanctity of life. He is a God who gave the care and responsibility for the environment and also for the family into our hands. He has personally suffered injustice and torture at the hands of his enemies and hopes we will stand against them and yet he is still the Prince of Peace. If you are still with me, you see that the morality of casting a vote is complicated and colored by the issues that affect not only ourselves as citizens, or us as a Christian community, but the larger world that God gave his very life for. I find, in looking at the possible candidates, that I am going to have a difficult time. None of them holds all the values that I hold dear, addresses the concerns I have in the way I would address them, or expresses their faith in the same manner I do mine. It is going to boil down to some tough compromising and to a great deal of faith that God is at work in the world. But in the end, the vote I cast will be considered, and it will be mine. I bring this up now, way before election time, not because I am particularly political but because since Gordon's article came out two weeks ago I have read two other articles that address a similar concern. So maybe it is timely for us to think about who is speaking for us and whether we like what they are saying.