Last weekend Mike closed the sermon discussing how Paul might have experienced the goodness of God in all his hardships. This is a subject that resonates with me. I feel that God keeps drawing me into a deeper understanding of how good He really is.
I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home. We went to church and Sunday school. I was taught early in my life that God is good, and if asked, I would have answered that He was. Even so, I was afraid that God might not be trustworthy. I mean, what if He required some major sacrifice from me such as becoming a missionary or serving people in some way that I did not like.
About ten years ago I attended a Renovare conference sponsored
at Oak Hills. Something wonderful happened to me during that
weekend. When it was over, I wasn’t
afraid any longer about what God might require of me. Instead, I became fearful of what I might
miss out on if I wasn’t willing to obey God in whatever He asked. I switched (I believe through a merciful gift
from God), from fearing God’s required obedience to fearing my lack of
obedience. I don’t know if it is
possible describe the impact that has made on my relationship with God.
Just recently God has reminded me of His
goodness in a way that surprised me. In
the last few weeks I have struggled through a particular circumstance. The specifics are not as important as what I
am learning. I felt as if I was on a
forced journey; on a path which I did not choose and which I did not want to
take. That path lead me to a point of
profound sorrow; almost a grieving (including tears, etc). At one point, I prayed for God to rescue me. Almost immediately, I felt an answer. God was lovingly allowing me to feel His sorrow
in what is a very sorrowful situation. I
understood He is much more mournful about this problem than I am. In His goodness, He allowed me to feel a
little bit of what He feels. I sensed His
goodness, a gift from Him, even though I was deeply sad. How extraordinary. I pray that all of us will continue to
discover more deeply how wonderfully good God is, in all circumstances.
